You don't have to have a couple to feel loved. Singles on Valentine's Day

Love is the most important thing. But sometimes it is better to put the one for oneself above the affection we bestow on others. That's what singles do.

Valentine's Day is for some a sign of capitalism, for others obciach and cheesy, and for still others a cool opportunity to show their affection. And on this occasion, I decided to take a look at a social group that, on 14 February, can feel a bit forgotten.

Are they rightly so? Not necessarily.

See also:

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• How to take care of your mental health
• World No Mobile Phone Day
• Bone Marrow Donor Day
• Blood Donation and Blood Donation Day
• Clean Air Day
• Food waste
• World No Smoking Day
.
• World Cancer Day
• Lungs after a pandemic
• Thyroid Disease Awareness Month
• Bee Day
• Fish Day

Who is a singleton?

The PWN Dictionary of the Polish Language defines the term single as "a person who is lonely, living alone"and. However, it seems that this description is no longer valid or sufficient.

Well, does every single person have to be single and, is a parent living with a child but raising them alone not single?"

Today, experts tend to treat the concept of single as broadly as possible. Young adults, middle-aged, divorced and widowed are all included in this group. It is safest, therefore, to consider that single, is simply someone who is not in a stable romantic relationship.

Single statistics

Since it is known who singles are, it would be good to know how many people in Poland have this status. And this is where the stairs begin. Why? Because no reliable and up-to-date data directly relates to the actual number of singles.

According to the 2021 National Population and Housing Census, 8,826,147 (27.5%) Poles aged 15 and over have a marital status of 'single' or 'single'and. However, it cannot be said that this is how many singles we have in Poland - some of them may be living in informal relationships. This is especially true for minors, but not only.

The same is true for widowed and divorced people, of whom we have a total of 5 132 532 in Poland, i.e. 16% of the population. Some of these people may no longer want to change their marital status again and at the same time have a new partner. 8.4% of people admit to living in informal relationshipsand.

Interestingly, single people are a large group in Poland - as many as 24.2% of the population. This statistic, by the way, seems most telling, as it separated those raising children in informal relationships from this group . Again, however, taking this result as "the number of singles in Poland" would be a major overinterpretation.

The above data can, however, provide a starting point and give some insight into the structure of Polish society. It is also interesting to compare some indicators with those of 2011. In 2021, the percentage of maids and bachelors decreased by 1.3% compared to 2011. Similarly, today we have slightly fewer widows and widowers than a dozen years ago - by 1% to be exact. On the other hand, there is an increase in the number of divorced people: from 5% in 2011 to 7.6% in 2021.

Who is a contemporary single?

According to dating website Meetic's 2023 report 'On the trail of partnership' the statistical single is a person with a secondary or tertiary education and a financial situation ranging from average to very goodand. 

Additionally, only 35% of those surveyed are looking for a permanent partner, with men leading the way. According to the above report, 42% of single men and 32% of female singles are thinking about getting marriedand.

It is worth mentioning here that the above study was based on a survey group of singles aged 30-60.

The profile of the modern single is changing. Increasingly, single people are looking for a partner to spend time together - doing hobbies, developing passions, travelling, and not necessarily to live together. Today's singles are also aware of their needs, and see a relationship as a complement to achievements in other fieldsand.

Single by choice or necessity?

Despite the fact that the question: how many singles are there in Poland? is difficult to give a precise answer, we can with high probability assume that there are quite a lot of them. Why do many people choose to live alone and... is it really their choice?"

According to the Meetic report, around 65% of singles do not want to tie themselves down to anyone permanently at alland. Even if they are looking for a companion, it's on a non-committal basis. What could be the reason for this?

The reasons for the lack of a life partner are attributed by experts to:

.
• prioritising the importance of freedom and independence over the need to build a relationship,
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• previous love disappointments,
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• overly detailed and exorbitant requirements for a partner,
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• hypocritical experiences from the family home,
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• negative ideas about love and imposed social roles,
.

What about the group that is single despite wanting to find someone? In these cases, the reasons may (though not necessarily) be quite different. Finding your other half can be difficult:

• shyness, which blocks making new relationships,
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• being around the same group of people for many years,
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• low self-esteem and complexes,
.
• confidence problems (e.g. after a previous betrayal),
.
• lack of social skills,
.

Social and material hardship may also come into play - something that is not usually mentioned. Unfortunately, the reality is quite brutal. For example, a single parent will find it much harder to find a partner. For the patchwork family model is not very popular in Poland, although this is fortunately slowly changing.

Does single equal single?

In the virtual space, the words single and single are often used interchangeably. Is this right? Those involved themselves, indicate that not necessarily.

Modern singles very often value contact with their family members and have extended groups of friends and acquaintances with whom they spend their free time. They also realise that close relationships with others are an important part of human well-being.

There is, however, no shortage of people for whom the lack of a permanent partner is a serious problem.

During the interviews with singles I conducted for this article, I asked about another issue. About the question of the further future - the prospect of old age. Already, seniors are the most lonely social group in Polandand.

Some of my interlocutors just shrug their shoulders, some dismiss me with a joke (And who knows if I'll live to see it?). Others admit outright that they are afraid of old age and see it in black colours. However, there are also those who have a concrete plan:

Living alone and the impact on health

According to research by John T. Cacioppo and William Patrick, loneliness can be as detrimental to health as obesity and smokingand. Lack of physical contact with another person has a direct impact on your wellbeing and health.

Deficit of closeness, for example, can be associated with higher levels of cortisol in the body, and this translates into feelings of anxiety, problems concentrating or insomnia. Single people are also much more likely to suffer from depressionand.

Are singles therefore doomed to a shorter and less comfortable life? As the quotes from earlier in the article show - no. Proximity and heartfelt physical contact is not exclusive to romantic relationships. There are similar effects from hugging friends, close relationships with other family members and even contact with animalsand.

It doesn't matter if you're in a steady relationship - it's important not to close yourself off to other people.

In a relationship with yourself...

Whether you're actively looking for your other half or being single is a state in which you feel like a fish in water, it's worth taking care of not only your relationships with others, but also with yourself every day. Loving yourself is often the first step to building valuable relationships with others.

What can you do to feel good about your thoughts and feelings?

Self-acceptance

Start with a regular practice of self-acceptance and positive thinking. Every morning, write down at least three things you are grateful for in your life. This will help you to focus on the positive aspects of your life and strengthen your self-love.

Treat yourself in a positive way.

Treat yourself as you would a friend. Let your inner voice not be your biggest critic, but your supportive soulmate. Not sure how to do this? A simple example: The next time you spill your tea, instead of thinking "I'm so clumsy", think about what you would say to someone close to you in that situation. It would probably be something like: "Don't worry. It happens to everyone".

Care for your needs

Think about your emotional needs as well as your physical needs and take care of them. Express your feelings in a healthy way by seeking support from loved ones or therapy. Keeping a diary of your emotions can also be helpful. Take care of your body by exercising regularly and eating a healthy diet. Remember that taking care of yourself is crucial to your self-esteem.

Assertiveness

Set healthy boundaries and nurture friendly relationships with others. Say "no" to situations that put you over the edge and learn assertiveness to express your needs. Avoid toxic relationships and surround yourself with people who support and inspire you.

Exploring yourself

Find passions and interests that fascinate you and make you feel fulfilled. Invest time in developing them. There are many options to choose from, such as painting, playing an instrument or reading. This will help you discover your individuality and strengthen your self-love.

Remember that working on your relationship with yourself is a process that takes time and consistency. However, taking small steps every day can lead to big changes in your life. So, start now and enjoy the benefits of strengthening your self-love.

Summary